Insult Index: An outsiders guide to the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry

If I’ve learned anything since joining the Michigan State football beat, it’s that the rivalry with Michigan is a heated one.

Being new to the area, I’ve tried to dive head-first into this topic. Last year, I spent some time with the Michigan State marching band, as they protected the Sparty Statue from vandalism — a tradition during this week. I attended a football game between the Michigan Daily and the State News, the student newspapers.

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So this year, when thinking of possible story angles, I figured I’d gather in one spot all the most-used insults that have appeared in my Twitter mentions over the last year and a half. It has taken time to understand the origin of some of them, but I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of it all these days. Here’s what I’ve got.

Michigan

“Moo U”: This one confused me when I first saw it. I’d seen it used on Twitter, but I didn’t quite understand it. Moo U? What does that mean? Then I remembered Michigan State was once known as the Agricultural College of the State of Michigan. I quickly pieced it together after that. I’m not sure when this one originated, but I see it every now and then.

“Little brother”: This is one that even a casual observer of this rivalry should know. In 2007, Mark Dantonio’s first season at Michigan State, his Spartans blew a 10-point, fourth-quarter lead to the Wolverines, ultimately losing 28-24. After the game, Michigan running back Mike Hart offered a playful response when asked if he ever doubted Michigan’s ability to rally back.

“I was just laughing. I thought it was funny. They got excited, it’s good. You know, sometimes, you get your little brother excited when you’re playing basketball and stuff, let him get the lead. And then you just come back and take it back.”

The comment was your typical rivalry banter. Michigan, with its national brand and championships, was known as the big brother. Michigan State, which had lost five straight games in this series, took on the role of little brother. For Michigan fans and players, being a “little brother” is a mindset. Despite the fact that Michigan State has won eight of the last 11 games vs. Michigan, you can come to expect a “little brother” reference at least once a year. Chase Winovich provided the soundbite a year ago.

“We knew they couldn’t hang with us… Sometimes your little brother starts acting up, and you just gotta put them in place.”

@Chase_Winovich was wildin’ postgame after @UMichFootball beat Michigan State. 👀 pic.twitter.com/MGXX3V9UAp

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) October 20, 2018

“94 yards”: In a 21-7 win over the Spartans in East Lansing last season, Michigan’s defense held MSU to 94 total yards of offense. Including sack yardage, MSU rushed for 15 yards on 23 attempts. MSU quarterback Brian Lewerke finished 5-of-25 for just 66 passing yards. Backup quarterback Rocky Lombardi and wide receiver Darrell Stewart also attempted passes in this one, completing 2 of 3 for 13 yards to round out the day for the offense. It was the fewest yards gained by a Michigan State team since 1947.

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It was an undeniably impressive performance for the Wolverine defense. Michigan Twitter reacted accordingly, and a new insult was born.

Michigan defense, ranked No. 2 nationally overall, yielded just 94 yards and seven points to the Spartans offensive attack.

MSU entered the game averaging 394.5 yards of offense and 25.8 points per game. #GoBlue pic.twitter.com/fs9L9VSiZb

— Michigan Football (@UMichFootball) October 21, 2018

Me when I see Michigan State fans exclaiming that they’ll get more than 94 yards this time around: pic.twitter.com/EdPJsSQxU9

— #BeatState (@UMvsEveryone) July 28, 2019

Happy 9/4 day, everyone.

To celebrate, I will complete 20% of my necessary work today and loudly complain if I see anyone drag their feet on the grass.

How are YOU celebrating 9/4, Michigan Twitter?

— Scott Bell (@sbell021) September 4, 2019

Bush league: Perhaps even more interesting than the 2018 game itself was the drama that took place before and after. Prior to kickoff, Michigan State locked arms and walked from the north end zone to the south end zone, part of a longstanding pregame tradition. There was some confusion in last year’s meeting, though. Michigan players were already on the field warming up when MSU arrived. Michigan State continued with its tradition, locking arms and walking from end-to-end.

As one would imagine, it led to some issues.

“Apparently they clotheslined two of our guys, came out in their helmets,” Jim Harbaugh said. “Lawrence Marshall, they just went up and clotheslined him. An old-fashioned clothesline. One of their guys ripped off Lavert’s headphones. Total bush league, and apparently Coach Dantonio was 5 yards behind it all smiling. I think it’s bush league, that’s my impression of it.”

Dantonio responded, calling Harbaugh’s notion that this was all orchestrated “BS” after the game. The drama spilled over into the next week, as Harbaugh likened MSU players to stormtroopers from Star Wars, before suggesting the two athletic directors get involved to resolve the issue. Consider it the latest chapter in a rivalry with plenty of them.

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Interestingly enough, this week has been largely drama-free. Harbaugh recognized Dantonio as a “master motivator,” while Dantonio called Harbaugh a “Hall of Fame”-caliber coach — both at the NFL level and the collegiate level.

Things have been quiet. A little too quiet. Perhaps the game will provide the spark.

Michigan State

“Walmart Wolverine”: This one is pretty self-explanatory, but if you’re still struggling, here’s a quick guide. The University of Michigan has an impressively large fan base and its football program is a nationally recognized brand, which means it isn’t hard to find team gear at stores across the country — like Walmart. Michigan State fans like to point out this out, implying that a large portion of the fan base did not actually attend the University of Michigan. Hence, “Walmart Wolverine.”

“-48”: In 2013, No. 22 Michigan State (7-1) faced No. 21 Michigan (6-1) in a game with Big Ten championship implications. At least, that’s how it was billed. As it turns out, these two teams went in opposite directions in the weeks that followed.

Michigan State won this game 29-6, which was, at the time, the most lopsided victory since 1967. The Spartan defense — one of the best in school history — held the Wolverines to negative-48 rushing yards in the game. Michigan quarterback Devin Gardner was sacked four times in the first quarter alone, finishing with negative-46 rushing yards. MSU would go on to finish with a 13-1 record, winning the Big Ten championship and the program’s first Rose Bowl since 1988. Michigan would go on to lose five of its final six games, finishing 7-6 in the second-to-last year of the Brady Hoke era. There is no “94” without “-48.”

“Whoa, he has trouble with the snap”: Before we get into things, you’ll need the full quote.

“Whoa, he has trouble with the snap! And the ball is free! It’s picked up by Michigan State’s Jalen Watts-Jackson! And he scores! On the last play of the game! Unbelievable!”

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This Sean McDonough call is famous in East Lansing. If you asked a random Spartan fan, there’s a good chance they’d be able to recite it mistake-free from start to finish — voice crack and all. But really, the first seven words are all it takes. It was one of the most memorable plays of the decade and one of the most improbable endings to a game in college football history. It’s one of those plays that will resurface every year. This year was no different.

Expect it every Oct. 17, @MSU_Football fans.

Happy 4th anniversary to “Whoa, he has trouble with the snap!” pic.twitter.com/67tf7648S2

— Michigan St. on BTN (@MichiganStOnBTN) October 17, 2019

Justin Layne gif: By the time his junior season came to an end, Justin Layne had emerged as a lockdown corner for Dantonio’s defense, playing the best football of his career. He routinely took on the best receiver on the opposing team. He was named a second-team All-Big Ten cornerback by the AP and media, and made Pro Football Focus’ first team. As a result, Layne rode his draft stock to the NFL, where the Pittsburgh Steelers selected him in the third round.

And while Layne is no longer around the program on a day-to-day basis, he’ll forever be part of rivalry week. Well, at least on social media.

Michigan State ultimately bested Michigan in the 2017 matchup, winning 14-10 on the road, but not without some late-game drama. Michigan had a first-and-10 from midfield with 27 seconds to play, trying to pull off a comeback. Wide receiver Eddie McDoom found himself wide open at the 30-yard line, right in front of the Michigan State sideline. He dropped it.

As McDoom walked back the huddle, he looked over in the direction of Layne — a sophomore at the time — who offered up a choke sign that would become an instant viral GIF.

Throw this GIF into the hall of fame pic.twitter.com/R6CVba6e3j

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) October 8, 2017

To date, the GIF has generated more than 20,000 retweets and 40,000 likes. When asked about it, Layne told reporters the gesture was an in-the-moment, emotional thing, and that the contents of his conversation with McDoom were “nothing you can say on camera.”

Michigan State batted down a Hail Mary attempt to seal the victory. Since then, I’ve seen this GIF used quite a bit. It’s simple yet effective. And if Michigan State manages to knock off Michigan, expect to see plenty of it again Saturday.

(2007 photo of Mike Hart: Paul Sancya / Associated Press)

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